Status Anxiety

“Anxiety is the handmaiden of contemporary ambition.” 

- Alain De Botton, Status Anxiety

None of my friends believes that I'm very timid, shy, and anxious every second.
It is very true, however.

I spent too much for something actually nothing in my life, such as "If I get this job, I need to do....@#$@#", "If I do this, I may have this problem in 3 years..." or problems in future at least 3 years ahead.
My friend from Hong Kong even told me "Don't think too much" at the last day in Hong Kong, and you can easily found that I'm a type of Charlie Brown, more or less, even worse.

For few days ONE THING got on my nerve (unlike former concerning it is something!) which makes me obsessed, very frustrated. I will know the result within a month but 'A month' seems like few months, or even more.

In this kind of situation, I am not the key fact, awaiting the mail, call or any contact, and I cannot help keeping on refreshing the page. That page became my wall paper, I'm the #1 regular visitor if they check the cookies of site. I try not to think but I check time, predict the schedule 'If it becomes...."

Apparently it's not the first time to have this anxious feeling, and I set up my mind  "I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul".

And I truly believe I'm the only influencer of my life, it shall pass soon too as usual.