Thursday, May 8, 2014

Vicious Circle

http://mariewithredhoodie.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/vicious-circle.html

Again. Yes Again.

I'm in Vicious circle.

Everything looks fine but not fine actually. Not sure about my future and everything looks so blurred. 

I'm not comparing to other who already achieved glories, but I cannot help analyze myself and find I am nothing.

City does well, they are going to win the title again in 3 years. It sounds great, and actually good for me. Less than one year, I've been seeing two titles in hand, however, not my hand their hand.

I was talking to my sister "I feel like I am small tiny COMPONENT. I've got goal but it's not my goal and I'm so frustrating if I cannot achieve my goal in my life." and she told me it's kind of learning process I need to work on , for the time being enjoy the travel not to get destination directly. 

Okay okay, good. I know I know I know.

As time goes by, I feel like everyone is going forward, everyone is improving except me.

I cannot help this stupid crazy feeling getting on my nerve since few weeks ago. Decent degree younger than me, smart, and already have numerous achievements in their career.

Where I am and where should I go further?

I need breakthrough soon.  

경기를 보다가 쟤넨 우승컵이라는 목표라도 있어서 죽자고 뛰는데 난 뭐하고 있나 이런 생각이 들었다. 

어제 경기 직전에 탈락메일 받고 나니깐 이젠 '여기까지가 끝인가 보오 이제 나는 돌아서겠소 억지 노력으로 인연을 거슬러 괴롭히지는 않겠소' 라는 노랫말만 떠오르고 머리가 멍하다. 

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